And:And

The aim of the whole package is to help you reach a more straightforward and simple approach to getting your own needs met and be able to allow other people to be themselves and take responsibility for themselves.

It is not about becoming uncaring or selfish.

It is not an either/or - either I meet my needs or I meet the needs of other people.

It is always the 'and:and' that you are looking for - being able to get your own needs more or less met, and be able to compromise and negotiate so that other people can get enough of what they want and need to feel happyas well.

Allow yourself to ponder the possibility that, by being happy yourself, other people can and will benefit.

Susan had always wanted to have a horse, but she didn't feel able to spend all that time and money on herself.

She spent her time and energy doing everything for her family. Her work revolved around her husband’s career and children's schooling with most of her free time taken up with domestic chores and caring for her aging parents.

As the years went on she became more and more unhappy and eventually had an affair. She came to CSC as she did not understand why she had done something so out of character.

As she explored what had happened she became aware that she had lost her sense of herself and her self esteem.

As the children left home she lost her sense of purpose and with that her resentment grew as she felt that the sacrifices she had made in her personal and professional life were not appreciated.

Having an affair gave her back her sense of herself and relieved the monotony of being a martyr. Although her marriage survived, both she and her husband realised that it was important for her to do something - just for her.

It quickly became apparent that taking time out for herself was not only enjoyable for her, but meant she was refreshed and rejuvenated and didn't feel so resentful of her family and husband. She connected with herself again as she did something she loved. Taking up riding again, that had seemed so self indulgent was actually an And:And. By benefitting herself, her husband benefitted from having a happier more fulfilled and interesting wife.